A couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t feeling well, so I took two days off from work. Since I spent the first day in bed, I decided to go out with my nephew the next day. He is two years old. We went to the park. He loves animals so much. Unfortunately, we don’t have a zoo in Irbid so the second best thing is a birds-house in the park. They have different types of birds. He was very happy. There were many children from lots of schools on school trips.

Suddenly, my nephew ran to me wanting me to carry him. He looked terrified. I carried him and he was shaking, but not crying. I tried to calm him down, but he was devastated. He didn’t scream, his fear was beyond this stage. It seems he saw a clown and that’s what caused his fear. He put his head on my shoulder and hugged me tight. I could feel how terrified he was. Usually, children when they are afraid they scream or cry, he didn’t do either. I tried to calm him, hoping he gets used to the clown and not fear him in the future, but he didn’t.

When I realized that it is useless to stay where the clown is I took him outside the birds-house. He didn’t want to play or let me go. He only felt safe and calmed down when we left the park. I felt very bad for him so we went to MacDonald and he was happy at last in their playroom. Luckily, Ronald McDonald don’t wasn’t there.

I heard that there are some people who have a fear of clowns, but I only saw it on TV and I thought it is not real. Actually, it is a real thing. Later in the afternoon, my mother told me that my nephew screamed, a couple of times, while he was taking a nap.

I Googled it and it is called Coulrophobia; the fear of clowns. It is real.

My nephew sees cats, dogs, donkeys, horses, turtles, birds or bugs and he runs towards them. He sees a clown and it is no way. I hope his fear of clowns is temporary though.

Going out with a two years old boy is so much fun.


Everyday a new lesson


9 am: At the Physician office. Normal checkup. “All good.” Said the Physician.

9:30 am: Took a chest X-Ray.

9:45 am: I decided to go to the downtown and enjoy the rest of the day. It was a nice day.


10 am: “Hi. This is Dr. … (my Physician). The X-Ray showed … Can you come tomorrow?”

“… I will be there tomorrow morning.” I answered.

Denial: “This is probably a scam to charge extra money for more tests. I heard about such thing before.” One brain cell said.

Foolishness: “You don’t feel anything why pay extra money for nothing.” Another brain cell shouted.

Acceptance: “You need to go. This could be something serious.” The rest of my rational brain cells agreed.

I have no collective memory of how the rest of the day went by.


5:30 am: Woke up.

6:30 am: Eager to go see the Physician but he sees patients at 9 am. I couldn’t stay home so I went to have breakfast at McDonald’s.

6:45 am: While drinking my coffee many thoughts and questions with different scenarios popped up. “What? Why? How? God?”

9 am: “What does …. mean?” I asked. “We will take a Chest CT Scan to know more.” He answered.

9:30 am: “We will call you at noon.” A woman from the laboratory said.

9:40 am: I went back to the Physician office. He was busy with another patient. I found out the world does not evolve around me, there are other people who need help as well. “What is next? Are you going to call me with the result?” I told his assistant to ask him. “He prefers that you come back again to see the result together.” His assistant came back with his answer.

9:45 am: Going back to work. “This can’t be good. Of course he doesn’t want to give me bad news on the phone.” My brain cells murmured collectively.

10:15 am: Waiting for the call, impatiently.

11:55 am: Still waiting. Nerves busy sending signals. “What? Why? How? God? …”

12 pm: No call.

12:30 pm: No call. “I will wait another 30 minutes. If they didn’t call I will call them.” I thought.

12:55 pm: I couldn’t wait any longer. I called the laboratory. “We already sent the result to your Physician.” The woman from the laboratory said.

12:56 pm: “It is nothing.” The Physician said. “It is …” He explained.

1 pm: Pondering about my “new” life while feeling relieved.

At your lowest moment you think of God more and more.

When you are the most vulnerable, you call no one but God.

You learn that whatever you are going through in life could be a hundred times worse. You learn to appreciate the simplest things. Most importantly, you learn to be THANKFUL!


Culture · Journal

The Expats Club

It seems the world is getting smaller and smaller. A hundred years ago, if you live in one place, you would hardly meet or see someone from a different place. Now, the world became a small village as they call it.

Today, I went to my friend and first cousin’s store. He is an optician. We were both born and raised in Kuwait. We call his store the Expats Club because most of our friends are and/or were expats and many of his customers are expats as well.

Two regulars of the Expat Clubs I see there sometimes I met today. One is a Jordanian Medical Doctor who studied and lived in Italy for about two decades. We chatted about the Italian food and Italy’s great transportation system. He became a customer and a friend to my cousin since my cousin studied in Italy as well. The second man is a Kuwaiti who visits Jordan every now and then. He became a friend and a customer to my cousin when he knew that my cousin was born and raised in Kuwait. We asked him about places in Kuwait we used to go when we were teenagers and about life in Kuwait nowadays.

I also met a customer who I knew is a Professor at one of Irbid’s universities and was in Egypt attending a conference.

Stores in Jordan are very different from the ones in the States. Here you do not go to a store just to buy things; you go to a store to make friends and then buy. We are nosy. We are chatty. In Jordan, this is the norm.

At 4 pm before going back to Amman, I said goodbye to my brother who is on his way to Darfur by now. He will join the United Nations Peacekeeping forces. Although, he is going there as an Engineer you cannot not think about how dangerous Darfur is.

In one day, I had a glimpse of life in Italy, Kuwait, Egypt and Darfur. Every person has a story. You hear someone’s story and it vanishes from your memory before he even finishes his speech and some others engraved in your memory forever. One is stuck in my head. It is not a story, but rather a conversation, that I will share with you in my next post.

This was my day today not much but it passed peacefully.